


Choice

by ahoy_cinderella



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 19:49:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21287222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahoy_cinderella/pseuds/ahoy_cinderella
Summary: COIRA / Moira can't understand how him leaving wasn't the same as asking her to make a choice until she realised, he was saving her the pain by making the choice for her.set around the time Holly OD'd the first time she came back.
Relationships: Cain Dingle/Moira Barton, Cain Dingle/Moira Dingle
Kudos: 3





	Choice

**Author's Note:**

> basically I'm obsessed with cain and moira and there are nowhere near enough stories about them.  
I also HATE what the emmerdale writers have done to them with the nate thing so that can fuck off.  
I posted this on ff.net a couple of years ago, it was my first of two coira stories and if people read this and like it I'll deffo be writing more. I have so many ideas.
> 
> this one-shot is based around the time holly returned and OD'd for the first time and moira gave the line "please don't make me choose" that collectively broke all of our hearts and made us die.
> 
> it's written in the 2nd person which is an odd thing to write so please, please let me know what you think.

_“Please don’t make me choose…”_

_“I wont, ever. I would never do that to you”_

It hadn’t even been five minutes since he’d walked into the bedroom away from you but it felt like a lifetime. He couldn’t possibly leave you now, not when you need him the most.

You cant even bring yourself to wipe the stream of tears that have flown in rivers down your face, you just listen for the sound of the drawers opening and closing, the sounds of him packing his bags but they don’t come. There’s no sound.

You follow his path into the bedroom, your feet moving slowly in fear of finding him gone even though you know he’s in there. Your hand grips the doorframe and you peek your head into the room. His weary frame is sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, his gaze burning holes into the floor. 

“Cain…”

He doesn’t respond; he just stares at the floor. You move closer to him, standing right in front of his unwavering form. You want to grab him by the collar, pull him into you and hold him so tight that he never leaves. His arms are your safe place; no matter when or where as long as you are in his arms, nothing can touch you.

You reach out your hand, you go to grab his and pull them from his face but you cant so you slowly reach forward and brush your fingertips against the back of his hand.

“Please don’t leave” You curse yourself for asking him to stay, if he loved you enough he would. He would never walk away; never make you choose. It hits you then that he already said he wouldn’t make you choose and that this is what he was doing; he was making the choice for you, saving you the pain of having to do it. He knew that if push came to shove, if life depended on it, your children always come first.

“She’s gonna hurt you, again…” He spoke quietly, his voice dark and gravelly. “I can’t watch you go through that.”

He reaches forward and grabs you by the waist, catching you as you stumble slightly towards him, your knees hit his as you stand between his open legs, his hands running up and down the back of your thighs over your jeans.

“I can’t watch you blame yourself for her mistakes. No matter what happens or what she does, you’re going to blame yourself, I know you are.” You don’t even bother to wipe the tears that fall down your cheeks; you reach forward and hold on to his shoulders.

“You’re the best mum, to all of your kids but you still shoulder the blame for everything they do wrong.”

“Cain…” You grip the shirt beneath your fingers and lean forward, pressing your forehead against your husbands. 

His hands move quickly from their place on your hips to cup your face and in a second your lips collide. Kissing him has always been your favourite thing, there’s something about the way he kisses you, the way that he holds you close that makes you see stars every single time.

“You’re the best person I know, Moira. I’d do anything to protect you”

“I know” Your voice shakes with the emotion of his honest statement.

“I’d do anything it took to make you _never_ feel pain again. I can’t bear to see you hurting, you don’t deserve it. Ever.”

You move closer, the need to be as close to this man as possible has taken over every fibre of your soul, your arms tighten around his neck as your lips find his again, you hold him tight and manoeuvre yourself so you are now straddling his lap. His fingers tangle in your hair as the kiss deepens and you can’t stop the whimper that comes from the back of your throat. 

This man in front of you is everything you never expected. Back in the days of your sordid little affair, he made you hate yourself, hate yourself for being with him, hate yourself for lying to your family; the thing you hated most, however, was the fact you always wanted more.

You never expected the two of you to end up here, you never thought for one second that something that started as a quick, angry fuck in a garage, what was once the biggest mistake of your life; would end up like this. 

Cain Dingle is your favourite mistake. He’s your friend, your lover, your protector and more. You know he’ll do anything for you, you’ve seen it before.

“Don’t leave me,” You whisper against his lips as you break the kiss for oxygen. “Don’t ever leave me”

“Moira…”

“We can do anything when we’re together.” You repeat the words he said to you on the day of your wedding, when your mind was swirling with fear and regret over the actions of your brother-in-law, he burst in, opened his heart and made you fall in love ten times over.

“You said that to me, on our wedding day.” You remind him “You said that to me and I fell in love with you all over again.” You kiss him once more.

His hands tighten around your waist “We can’t beat an addiction that isn’t ours” He said quietly.

“She has to do this for herself. She has to, other wise it’ll never work.”

“She can, she’s done it before” You insist.

“She has” He nods “But at what cost?” His finger lifts your chin to make you face him “I wont have you get yourself into trouble for her. I don’t care what you say”

His words are made all the clearer by the look on his face “I know” You reply.

“You were arrested for her before, you aren’t risking yourself again just because she can’t stay clean”

You nod in agreement and drop your gaze again to your lap, you can’t even see where you end and he begins through the tears that build in your eyes.

“You’re enabling her, Moira.” You go to retaliate but he cuts you off “You are. You don’t think you are; you think you’re helping her and she knows that. She knows that as long as you are prepared to do anything for her she can use you any way she wants. That’s what addiction is. Its not just the drugs she’s addicted to, it’s the thrill.”

His words cut deep and it hurts you even more to know that he’s speaking from experience. His childhood is something that rarely comes up in conversation but the thought of him as a young boy being treated the way he was is something that your heart just can’t handle. 

“She says she’s going to get clean”

“She says a lot of things…”

Instantly you’re taken back to just days ago when your own daughter tried to tell you about your husband trying it on with her. All lies, obviously but even the implication alone was like a dagger to your heart, the fact that Holly thought that she would get away with lying like that. 

You’ve tried to understand her anger, Adam was the same when the two of you first got together, they both blamed Cain for his part in their father’s death but that’s all changed, your son and your husband get along great and you only wished that the same could be said for Holly.

“I never believed her…when she said you…” You look into his eyes, trying to get him to make sure he believes you wholeheartedly “Not for a second”

“I would never…”

“I know”

“I am so in-love with you, Moira” His lips meet your forehead “You’re the only one I ever…”

“I need you with me” You admit before he can say anything else “I need you to be here for me, I can’t watch her go through this again, not by myself.”

“Moira…”

“You don’t need to be involved, I wont ask you to do anything, I promise…” You grab him by the side of the face “Just please, be here for me”

You notice the weight of the conversation leave his body with the release of a sigh; his shoulders slump and he gives you a tiny nod of the head; his arms gather you against him, answering you without words.

“I won’t go easy on her” He tells you “The second she steps out of line, she’ll know it. There’s no way she’s getting away with the shit she put you through last time, not while I’m around”

You nod against his checked shirt, pressing a kiss to his neck as you burrow your face into him.

“Thank you”


End file.
